Two days ago my mom died of cancer. Four months ago we didn't even know that she was sick. This feels like I am living in a bad dream, but it is real. Jon and I have spent the last month in Albuquerque helping to care for my mom. It has definitely been the hardest month of my life, and I celebrate that my mom is free from this disease and free from this earth. There are no tears or pain in heaven. But, of course there is plenty of pain and tears around here right now. Two nights ago, my family went out to eat at a restaurant that we often went to with mom. I was okay until I went into the bathroom and saw the sink where I remember mom washing Caleb's hands a little over a month ago. Then I lost it. I guess that the grief will come on suddenly and unexpectantly like that.

On the day before mom died, we had some time with her when she was somewhat awake. She asked Katie and me to sing Amazing Grace and to pray. We sang a not so great version of it, and we prayed for her. She reached out to hold my sister's baby Kennedy, and Katie sort of set Kendi on Mom's lap. A little while later, Katie had put Kennedy into a crib in the other room. As my mom's medicine started to kick in again and make her sleepy, she said twice that she heard a baby crying. This was the last thing that I can recall my mom saying to us, and I find it so fitting. She was a wonderful grandma. She served us by helping out with our kids: washing their hands before meals, getting up with them early in the morning, and showing such love for them as she played with them on the floor. I will miss her for these reasons and so many more. Mom had two miscarriages before I was born, and Katie had one several years ago. I can imagine the joy she felt as she entered heaven and was greeted by these children. I know that the greatest prize for her was greeting Jesus, but I love picturing her up there with these three babies just doing what she loved best: being Mom and Grandma.

A little Northern NM

So the kids and I (Jon) went to Tres Piedras in the midst of all the goings on a few days back now and the kids enjoyed some time with Grandma Peters and Grandpa Terry. It was a good break for all parties involved. The weather was amazing and allowed us to spend some time outside. Usually its pretty cold and outside time is limited by the 7 degree temperatures. We fed the chickens, swang under the pine trees, chopped wood, picked up pine cones, hiked around and I got to go to Taos for some breakfast; incidently the huevos rancheros was worth the extra mileage. It's a great jumping off point for some great adventures. Abby loved hanging out in the out of doors with her Grandma, and Caleb liked the freedom that comes with being out in the woods; however he needs a little work in the chore department (firewood hauling). I loved chopping firewood, which is proof that I haven't done enough of it in my life admittedly. I also tested my computer skills and installed a new network so my parents could stay in touch in the wilds of Toas plains. We also did a little onsite work on my mom's new website as well so if you need a little taste of NM in your spice cabinet, look her up on the web RioGrandeChile.com.

My Sweeties...

At the Park...

Christmas Bokeh

It's a Boy!

Several days ago, Jon, Caleb, Abby, and I went to have a 3D ultrasound. We mostly went to determine gender, so I could tell my mom about it and also just for something fun to do while we are here in Albuquerque caring for my mom.

Baby Capron was not super cooperative: legs crossed most of the time and leaning up against the placenta. But, eventually we were able to confirm that he is a boy! I will still look forward to my normal doctor ultrasound just to make sure this is correct. Caleb had a huge smile on his face when we found out. Here are some of the pictures of our little boy!

Baby's profile with his hand up by his faceIt's a boy.... Legs crossed

Baby's spine

A lumpy face shot- I have to say babies just tend to look funny in these pictures!

For now, we are settled on naming him Luke, but we are still trying to decide on a middle name. Suggestions are welcome!

Wishing for snow...

Thanksgiving 2010

Abby enjoying the sunshine and her new bike helmetCaleb decorating his bike with chalk and soon to learn that you shouldn't put sticks in the spokes of the wheels

Little Cubbers

Last week, Caleb, Jon, my mom, and I got to go to an ultrasound place to see Baby Capron #3 (who Caleb has affectionately named "Cub"). I was only 11 weeks pregnant, and little Cub was about 1 1/2 inches long. It was amazing to see the development of this little being and to imagine all of the intricate details present in so small a baby. My favorite part was seeing that he/she already has a full bladder. I guess that I already have the mothering spirit for this baby.... only a mom could be so proud of her baby for having urine in its bladder! The ultrasound tech thought that there may be signs of the baby being a boy but wouldn't call it this early. Caleb is quite convinced that Cub is a boy, but we will have to wait around 6 more weeks to find out. Girl or boy, it was great fun to get to see our Cub and to get to have Grammy there for this special time!

Profile of face and bodyFoot and full bladder (dark circle shape near stomach)Baby's fist held up to his/her mouth

Friends

Sometimes these two really do act lovingly towards each other. I have found them playing together more and more, and I think it is the best. Abby loves to copy everything that Caleb says. Today, we were driving, and they both kept yelling "Stop". My mom was on the phone, so I needed them to be quiet. Naturally I started to yell out "Stop" as well. With the three of us yelling stop at the same time, it was a funny moment. Abby looks up to Caleb, and he is protective of her (when she isn't getting into his stuff!). Everytime Abby wears a dress or a nightgown, Caleb calls her a little princess. She relishes in the attention and often spins around to show off her outfit. I hope that they will be the best of friends for a long time!

Our Trick or Treaters!